Well, it turns out that I’m a old and I’m not as comfortable with sharing as I once was. I want my private thoughts to stay confined in my brain matter. I thought that I still wanted a place to unload my hopes and fears but obscure enough to be hidden from everyone else, I was wrong. The possibility of my associates finding out that this place is alive again unleashes bouts of self-censorship, which hampers meaningful expressions. I want my thoughts to stay mine and I realise that once I hit the publish button that is no longer the case. That doesn’t make sense I know, but a lot of things don’t make sense right now and sharing them with an ambivalent internet doesn’t add light to the eternal darkness.
This is not to say that I’m discontinuing this blog, no. I still want to write and create publicly, I just haven’t figured out what I’m going to do with aquilogy.com, a blog I created a long time ago as an outlet for my depression and low self-esteem and I probably never will and that’s not a bad thing. As evidenced by the last few posts, I wanted to turn it into a photography blog a la my now defunct tumblr but photography blogging is boring. I also wanted to turn it into a music blog but most music is boring right now. I’ve outgrown social justice and lost my hope in humanity, everything is boring and this also hampers meaningful expressions. I’m pushing through though, trying different things until this blog converges into what I want it to be. Please bear with me as I do this.