Random thoughts

  • The shower gel I was using when I first drove to my ex-bae’s place three years ago was Sanex Dermo active. The scent of it is connected to some of my favourite memories. I haven’t used in a about a year or so. Having decided to let go of the soul that reddened my black heart, I rushed to the store to buy it again. I don’t know why, I guess I wanted something to remind me and that scent always brought me back to 2011. To my dismay the research and development team at Sanex did something to improve the product and the scent is no longer the same. Each and every shower or bath I took these last several weeks has been a reminder that I will never smell the scent that reminds me of when I was at my most vulnerable (in a good way).
  • The intuition that comes with growing up causes one to see where one stands with everybody and it is liberating. I never thought I would say this but, people change and like flowers, sometimes friendships just wither and die. I am just thankful of the people that remained in my life after the great war in my brain. I am thankful of M____ a person I’ve been friends with since I was six, we might not be as close as we where but the little time we spend talking always refreshes my spirit. I am thankful of J____, who was with me when I nearly lost my head and is still here walking with me as I try to repair and rebuild. I am thankful of M2___, for always having my back no matter what, I might be older than he is but I will always look at him as the older brother that I never had.  I am thankful of V___ for always allowing me to share his space and talk about nothing in particular. I am thankful of everybody else that I can’t seem to recall at the moment.
  • One thing I hate about the type of work I do is having to leave once I start falling in love with the place and the people. You might remember that about two years ago I was in a “dead” town called Kriel. Initially I hated the place but I eventually learned to love the slow pace of it and as I was starting to enjoy the chill, I got unceremoniously dismissed at my last gig. I am now located in a small mining town in Southern Limpopo. Steelpoort. I don’t really love the place, everything you read about Limpopo’s lack of governance is true, service delivery here is a joke, the only places with functioning infrastructure are the now cliché gated communities. I mean, the first thing we were told when we got here was to not drink the tap water, the mines done fuxed up the water here a long time ago, nobody told the local people though but that’s a story for another day. I don’t like the place, I merely tolerate it but the people I spend my time with are the greatest and with this project nearing completion, my heart is beginning to show signs of heartbreak at having to leave.