Prison Break

For those who haven’t been paying attention, I have recently moved to a small town in Mpumalanga. I hate the town and last night my hatred for this town got solidified. I stay in a rented house with three other colleagues, they are all from Johannesburg and they also hate this town with a passion, every weekend on Saturdays after work they drive all the way back to JHB instead of spending time in this dead place. I thought it was very pointless and wasteful to drive to Jo’burg every weekend in Saturday only to come back on Sunday night/ Monday morning so I decided to stay here for the weekend. Bad move.

My plans for the weekend was to spend time indoors reading, drinking beer and writing that short story that’s been lying on my head for last six months but the universe had nefarious plans for me. One of the guys at work called and asked me to join them for a couple of beers at the park near our site office, I was bored and couldn’t write a single word of my short story. I decided to join them. In retrospect this wasn’t a good idea because 1) I had already consumed three Windhoek draughts 2) I have slight night blindless and therefore can’t really drive when it gets dark. 3) I can’t drive drunk or at least that’s what I thought, turns out I drive pretty well under the influence. At any rate, I went out with my colleagues and we had a decent time. At about eight at night while we were driving to another pub in some guys that I also work with asked us to drop them off at their place, me being a nice guy, I told them to hop in. Bad Move. It turns out that they stay were cops like to do road blocks. They knew this, and they still didn’t tell me. I ended up getting pulled over and they made me take a breathalyzer test, which I failed. I was twice over the limit and I only had three Windhoek draughts and two Heinekens *Kanye Shrugs*. While tests were being performed on me, the two guys I was dropping off, skipped out of the car and ran away, which angers me since I wouldn’t have been pulled over had I not been giving them a lift home. They didn’t stay to see what happens to me, they just ran away, bastards.

I was taken to the police station, had blood tests taken and thrown in a cold cell with about fifty others. It turns out the cops were in a mission, the whole night they would brag about the amount of people they had arrested, they arrested 64 and 48 the previous night. Considering that bail money for this offense is a thousand rand, the state made a killing this weekend. Anyhow, I was arrested at about past eight, detained at nine and was released at six the following morning, after I paid the thousand rand bail. Now I have a criminal record, and I have to appear in court tomorrow. Five beers could cost me a fine of up to R20 000 and the driving license I spend so much time and money to obtain might get suspended for six months and I only got it last month. I learned my lesson, I will never again drive when I’ve had one too many or at least not in this town, where there’s road blocks at every corner.


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