It was a bittersweet moment six months ago when I got myself a part-time job at the sweatshop I’m currently slaving at, I was happy that I finally had an income, no matter how small it is, but I was also angry at myself for not being able to secure a position at an engineering company. The medical insurance industry has been good to me, the work that I was doing was somewhat interesting, I didn’t get bored like I thought I would. I will forever be grateful at the tons of stuff that I had learned there but, things went downhill about two or three months ago, when I got a promotion (without a pay increase), I was expected to work three times more for the same pay. I ended up having to report to two managers and I ended up being caught in-between a tug-of-war over the amount of time I spend in their respective departments, which was hell.
Long time readers know that I have a terrible weakness, I don’t deal well with having to report to someone. I have a problem with authority, I never got along with anyone called my superior since I was in Grade 6, when I always got in trouble with the School Principal. It comes as no surprise that, I had a verbal altercation (not really an altercation, I just refused to take orders from her ‘cause she’s not my manager) with one of the big bosses. My two managers then decided to call a truce, formed a sick and twisted alliance against yours truly. Next thing I know people are running to our Operations manager raising “concerns” about my attitude and my excessive internet usage, blah blah blah. This prompted me to ask myself in dealing with the heavy workload plus all this petty shit and frankly, I don’t think it’s worth it. I think I deserve more than what life’s throwing at me and I’m going to get what I deserve.
So this morning I handed in my resignation and two weeks from now will be my last day here. I have absolutely no idea what I’m going to do for income (shocker!) but I’m not worried, things always work themselves out somehow. When I told a long time friend of mine that I’m planning to quit, she said that “what I’m doing is stupid, childish, impulsive and irresponsible but then again stupid, childish, impulsive, irresponsible is what you do best, so go ahead and quit, it’s not like you’re going to listen to me anyway”. Which is kind of true, besides the stupid part, I’m starting to believe that I am too hard-headed, impulsive, free-spirited and childish for a nine-to-five and lets not forget that I don’t deal well with authority. Maybe this might change as years go by and reality drags my Peter Pan ass out of Never-never land but for now, I don’t think it’s ideal for me to work a nine-to-five. For now though, I have no choice but to grin and bear it, find a job and spend hours pushing someone else’s agenda until I can get enough courage/skills to be my own boss.
Leaving on the 17th leaves me with exactly two weeks to think hard about what went wrong these last two years, what prevented my life from progressing, what I need to do to get out of this rut. I will also try to do something I should have done way back when I escape puberty’s death grip, figure what I want to do with my life and so on and so forth. And maybe device a plan to make 2011 not suck as much as 2009 and 2010, lets hope I would be sober enough to do all this.