[I know everyone (myself included) is tired of these “2010 review posts but I promise, this is the last one]
I’ve been thinking a lot lately, thinking about the type of year it’s been, trying to figure out what lessons did I learn this year, what am I going to take to 2011 since 2010 is almost coming to a conclusion.
It’s easier to just say, “2010 was a shitty year and nothing will change that” but that would be highly inaccurate. You see, the more I think about it, the more I realize the importance of this year to my evolution as a human being. I think, this year was the “Universe’s” way of slapping me back to reality. So regardless of my finances, my employment situation and other things that are too person to reveal to the interwebs. I think I came out of all of this a better person.
As I was saying, I’ve been thinking a lot about 2010 and these are a few of the many the good and bad things that I got out of this year.
- My Employment Situation
There’s no way of spinning this, ending up jobless after years of hard work, late nights doing projects, saying no to invites to killer parties because you had an exam on Monday etc. Does something to a person, you abandon hope…. just about everything. Even though you’re happy for them, you can’t help but get pissed off that the people you did projects and assignment for are buying their first car while you can’t afford to purchase anti-perspirant for your musty underarms. That’s pretty much what happened to me, the whole thing left me depressed and uninspired, I couldn’t even find the energy to do anything, let alone search for a job. Most of the time, I was either sleeping or watching Al Jazeera. It was that bad. Fortunately, I found a temp job at a small medical aid company. The work is stressful and the pay is shitty but I’m thankful that I can at least afford deodorant for my musty underarms. I’m determined to find employment now. My job hunting skills are steadily improving. I’ve learned to not internalize a job application rejection, it’s not personal, it’s just business.
- Disappointment from the people you relied on
There are a few things worse than realizing the selfishness of several people that you had trusted for years. During your time of need, they all chose to abandon me and you’re left wondering, “Are these the same people I fuxed with all these years?”. They almost made me lose hope in people, but something remarkable happened (more on that later). I still fux with those, mainly because I don’t believe in ending friendship unless they do something major but I did cut the amount of time I spend with them.
- Realizing the Strength of my mother
My mother had a hard childhood, I won’t say much about that ’cause I decided not to air other people’s dirty laundry, I still feel bad for throwing my dead grandfather under the bus last year. But besides all of that, my mother managed to create something out of nothing. She turned out fine. A few weeks ago, my grandmother passed away and we were all worried that she would have another nervous breakdown but she didn’t. She became strong for her brothers and sisters and she was solely responsible for the funeral arrangements. This made me remember all the things she has done for her family and ours as well. I’m proud of her and I realize that I might have been taking her a liiiiitle for granted, but that’s about to change.
The people that I have met
The best thing about this year is the many people I’ve met, almost all of them wonderful. Because, of changing circumstance, I was forced to open up my heart and I ended up letting in superstars. I now realize the interconnectedness of everybody, remarkable considering that less than a month ago I was on some “fcuk them other peoples” tip.
All in all, this wasn’t a bad year. I don’t think I have ever had a bad year, I just didn’t realize the wonderful things in my life. I’m hoping that would change.