This morning at Doornfontein train Station, I experienced one of my most awkward moments of all time (OF ALL TIME!), since I realize that 70% of my readership consists of women (all seven of you lol), I’ll let you guys in on the secret world of the Urinals. There’s an unwritten code that guys abide to when using urinals, it’s pretty universal. I’ll just give a few example of the said, Urinal code of conduct: 1) Unless the Urinals are packed, it’s polite to leave the urinal next to you free, i.e. there should be at least one free urinal between you and the next guy taking a piss, this is done to ensure that the other guy’s pee doesn’t splash on you pants, guys are generally messy pissers (is that even a word). 2) It’s polite to look straight ahead when using Urinals, not down, not left, not right, but straight ahead. I don’t think I need to explain why. 3) Unless you know the person next to you, you shall not make any small talk. Ever! etc.
Now this morning, while I was peacefully relieving myself at the Doornfontein station urinals, this guy walks in, breaks the first rule in the Urinal code of conduct by using the urinal next to mine even though there were lots of free urinals available. I didn’t sweat it, stuff like these happen but then something wild happened, the guy started screaming, it burned when he peed, he had an STD, (I could see the agony in his face, through the side of my eye) trying to stick to rule number three of the urinal code of conduct, I pretend like I didn’t hear. The dude proceeded to break even more rules, he started making small talk, well not exactly small talk, he asked me to look at his infected member, he wanted to know if it was that bad (A doctor opinion >>>>> some stranger at a urinal’s opinion, just saying). Me being me, I chose to look, ’cause I wanted to see what an infected peen looks like* and umm, yeah, all I have to say is, I’m staying off sausages for a week.
While we were washing our hands (The dude had good hygiene for someone who was careless enough to catch an STD, roflle) he was still talking to me, the weird thing is, he was asking for my advise about what to do, as if going to see a doctor isn’t the obvious this to do. le sigh.
I think there needs to be another rule added in the Urinal code of conduct: when you have an STD, use the toilet booths instead. When you start screaming, people might think that you are playing with yourselves, but is way better than them knowing that you have Gonorrhea.