I’m reluctantly writing this ‘cause I didn’t want any of you to judge me for being weak. This Saturday, my friends sister was getting married, it was a traditional wedding, held at the husband’s hometown of Scweizer-Reneke, a good four hours away from Johannesburg. I fell of the wagon, really hard. I made a mistake of listening to my alcoholic brain, instead of my body and mind. Logic kept telling me not to touch any alcoholic beverages but my alcoholic brain convinced me otherwise, “It’s a four hour’s drive, you can’t spend all that time singing along to soulful house tunes, have a glass, you know you want to.” my brain kept repeating the same statement each time we passed an information board stating the amount of kilometers left ‘til we reach Schweizer-Reneke. I finally relented, half-way through the trip we stopped at a liquor store and bought a bottle of Klipdrift Premium.
The amazing thing about alcohol, it tricks you into having two or three units of alcohol more than your threshold (I don’t know what mine is anymore, seeing that I got it wrong on my two previous drinking sessions). I ended up having one shot too many, but I didn’t realize that ‘til later. The bottom of the Brandy bottle coincided with the end of our journey, having consumed the most alcohol out of the three of us, I thought letting the other two drink the beers reserved for us would be the responsible thing to do. Little did I know that it was too late, the damage had already been done.
Everything was swell, we were singing, dancing, women were ululating. The atmosphere was merry. Then something strange started to happen to me, before I continue, let me give my teetotalers a little background information. Depending on many variables, something very rare happens, you drink and there’s a delayed reaction, you don’t feel the effects of the alcohol until hours after you’ve swallowed the last drop of booze, or if you’ve continued drinking more alcohol in the interim, you’ll the double effects of that alcohol and the alcohol you’ve just consumed (I hope that makes sense). That is exactly what happened to me. I had my last glass about 60KM (about 45minutes away) away from our destination, I remember this ‘cause I was the one who protested when someone wanted to pour the remaining content into a soda bottle and throw the bottle out the window (even in a state of semi-intoxication, I still hate littering), so that the cops at Schweizer won’t pull us over for public drinking (The driver forgot his license). In Schweizer, I spent about an hour and a half dancing and just enjoying myself then just like that, the alcohol that I had drank two hours before finally entered my frontal lobe. I started feeling dizzy, vision blurry I ran to the car, sat for twenty minutes hoping that it would get better but it didn’t. Several minutes into it, all the chips, chocolate and salted peanuts came right up, with my head hanging out the car window, I was vomiting in full view of almost everyone. I have never been so embarrassed in my life, and the sad part about it is that I didn’t feel that drunk, not drunk enough to be puking like that.
So, does this mean that I’ve given up on giving up the bottle? The answer won’t surprise you much if you know me personally or you’ve read my struggle with alcohol on this blog, yes, I have given up. I don’t think it’s possible for me to quit drinking at the moment, I also don’t think I’ll be quitting anytime soon and here’s why: 1) Breaking habits is harder than you thought I’m too lazy to look it up (you can google it up if you want) but I’ve read once or twice that changing a habit is one of the hardest things a human can do because it takes more energy to do things different that what your brain is used to, so if you change habits, the brain will do everything it can to sabotage you. I’ve had my drinking habit since I was fourteen or fifteen, almost ten years (bloody hell, I’m old!), breaking a ten year old habit is hard, it could be done but 2) I’m lazy Disgustingly so, if I weren’t so lazy, my career wouldn’t be in such a state of disarray. Lazy people don’t break their habits 3) I’m young It’s best I start doing stupid shit now and get it out of my system than wait ‘til I’m older, alcohol will help me do that.
I think you’re tired of hearing me say I’m quitting then two months later, I cook up excuses on why I didn’t stick to my word. I tired of doing the same shit over and over again, so I’ll stop.