Jobless in Johannesburg

Rudely awakened by a phone call, disoriented, he reluctantly presses the okay button. He never was a morning person, granted, the time was 23 minutes to midday but still, he loathed being woken up. Voice still raspy he begins to answers the phone.


Recruiter: Hi, This is may I please speak to

AQUILOGY: That’s me, but you can call me by my middle name.

Recruiter: (Relieved, having been absolved from the burden of having to pronounce an easy to pronounce tswana name) Hi, AQUILOGY, this is Mariska from Pure-Talent recruiters. Is this an appropriate time for us to speak.

AQUILOGY: Umm… yeah, sure.

Recruiter: AQUILOGY, One of our affiliates has forwarded us your CV. I see that one of your interest is alternative energy…

AQUILOGY: It was, until I realized that there’s a possibility that climate change is a hoax.

Recruiter: (silent for about a few seconds) Oh……… I see, but are you interested to work in the renewable energy field.

AQUILOGY: Sure, why the hell not.

Recruiter: We’re interested in selling your CV to one of our clients, can you come for an interview and assessment next monday at 4h30 in the afternoon?

AQUILOGY: Yeah, no problem. May I ask where did you get my CV, I don’t remember sending it to any agency?

Recruiter: Like I’ve said, one of our affiliates forwarded it to us. You applied for a post a while ago, you weren’t suited for the position so your CV was forwarded to us, we specialize in Graduate placements.

AQUILOGY: Oh, okay

Recruiter: Anyway, AQUILOGY, What is your current income?

AQUILOGY: Zero rands and Zero cents. I’m currently “Between Jobs”

Recruiter: Okay, anyway, I’m sending you a confirmation e-mail with directions to our offices in Hyde park. Thanks for taking the time to speak to us. Have a nice day.

AQUILOGY: Thanks, you too.

Looks at the time and realizes it’s almost midday, he desires to get out of bed but the only thing he’s got planned to do today is watching an episode of Witness on Al Jazeera and that doesn’t come on ’til 16h00. He slowly covers his head with the sheets and goes back to the dream he was having, where he isn’t a jobless unmotivated graduate from Johannesburg.


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