Like Cupid on crack

So here’s the thing, I’ve been willingly single (sic?) since Dec ’06 (although I fell of the proverbial wagon once or twice these past six months) for the sake of humanity, you see I have quite an effect on women. I drive them crazy, literally, like “countless voice messages threatening to make your life hell” crazy. But you know how society likes to treat single people, everybody things that the only way to validate your existence is by being hooked up with someone. My mom keeps asking me when I’ll be introducing her to my girlfriend, former colleagues are giving my numbers to random chicken heads hoping to cure my “ailment” and my close friends have been relentlessly trying to fix me up with their sister or cousins forever now. There’s nothing more annoying than trying to get your drink on at a party and people on a mission to fix you up introduce you to someone and one by one they disappear, leaving you with the said girl, hoping for some sparks. *smh*Since most of the people trying to fix me up religiously monitor my relationship status on facebook, I usually mess with their heads by changing it as often as I can from “single” to “in a relationship” to “it’s complicated” in one week. Anyhoo, I’ve noticed that when my relationship status is set to “single” facebook floods it’s side wall with all these shitty ads from shitty online dating services and that annoys the crap out of me. If that isn’t bad there’s all valentine’s day ads all over the place even though the only people who are into valentine’s day are pre-pubescent girls and speaking of Valentine’s Day, everyone who will be going to watch the movie “Valentine’s Day” must jump off a bridge for being stupid. Nothing says rip off like making an American version of a movie that was made five or six years ago (Valentine’s day= dumbed down version of “Love, actually”) but at least Valentine’s day brings with it some needed comic relief, like the look on old people’s faces when they see the Valentine’s special on the next issue of Clicks pharmacy’s catalogue.

Pardon my rant, I just had to get that shit of my chest like breast reduction.