Dying alone kinda sucks

Death. I never really gotten used to it, that’s why I avoided funerals for two thirds of my life. Seeing people mourn is heart wrenching, I hate seeing people mourn for their loved ones. When people mourn for someone, it means that they loved the person, they’re sad that he/she’s gone forever but what happens when you die alone, having alienated almost everyone in your family?

Less than a week ago my grandfather from my mother’s side passed away. He lived alone in Qwa Qwa and if it wasn’t for his neighbours, his lifeless body would still be locked up in his house. Very sad really, none of his kids liked him, they sorta “tolerated” him, My mom is the only person who didn’t “Tolerate” him. When my mother was 19 years old, he chased her out of his house, while they were still living in Meadowlands, Soweto and ever since then, him and my mother haven’t been on speaking terms. I’ve only seen him twice when he came to visit us and again in 2003 when I spent the summer at his home in, Qwa Qwa. Growing up we heard horrible stories about how he used to treat my grandma, aunt and uncles, his countless affairs, how they used to starve ’cause he would spend all his money on his mistresses and their kids from almost everybody and the weird thing about it is, all his grandchildren, myself included kinda liked him. When I visited him in 2003, he was quite nice to us and spoiled us, my cousin (The one who’s on drugs) adored him. It was kinda awkward when, after having visited Qwa Qwa with my cousins, my aunt and mother would keep questioning us about how he treated us and their disbelief when we told them that he treated us good.

He was abusive to my Grandma and after living with it all these years, she left him around this time last year. It seems that, during his last year, all the shit he put his family through were starting to catch up with him. From what I hear, he was living with a women younger than my mother (I wonder were she was when he died). He wasn’t sick so his death came as a surprise to everyone. He’ll be buried here in Johannesburg this Saturday, The family is busy arguing about how to bury him. I wonder if anyone is going to mourn a man who terrorized his family all his life?

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3 thoughts on “Dying alone kinda sucks

  1. Regardless of what type of man he was in life he deserves to buried with respect. My condolences. Leaving behind a legacy of hurt sucks too.

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