Soccer fail

In my never ending battle with my legendary beer belly I decided to go play soccer with my homeboys. I hadn’t touched a soccer ball since 2002, I never was good at soccer, I wasn’t that terrible either, I just wasn’t good as everybody else. For some odd reason, people often assume that you have to have some football skills if you’re a black guy from the townships.

I used to play a lot of soccer when I was in Primary school, during lunch break we would play soccer in the tennis courts, when it comes to my soccer skills, that was my peak. When I got to high school, I started sucking real bad at soccer. It became so bad that once my female classmate were playing another team from another class, they decided to field me and the other team had no problem with it! I was so bad at soccer that I ended up playing on the women’s team. I ended playing in the cricket team and I kicked major ass. (My cricket skills >>>>>> My soccer skills.)

Anyhoo, last night I decided to join my peeps for a friendly game of soccer, they play four times a week to stay fit. They’ve been asking me to come join them for weeks now and I finally relented. I knew I was in trouble when they started warming up and already my fat ass was sweating and heavy breathing. We started playing and needless to say, I still suck at soccer, I couldn’t trap the ball, Every time I tried kicking it, it flew in a different direction. People ended up realizing how terrible I was and stopped passing me the ball. I didn’t mind though, even though I was terrible, I know for sure I burned a few kilojoules and that’s all that count right? I’ll be joining them again this Wednesday.

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