“it’s the end of an era/ but a dawning of a brand new age/ live your life inside these brand new days”-Mr lif
I was reluctant of writing this, I don’t think it’s possible to sum up a year’s worth of experiences in a single post but I felt the urge to, I don’t know why.
A year ago when I got that call that I’ve been waiting for for days, a call I thought would mark the beginning of great things in my life, I was excited, nothing could explain the emotions that went through my head when the growth & learning manager told me that I would be working for a company I thought was the best. I thought to myself: “finally, months of sweating, searching for a company were finally over. I would no longer feel the disappointment I felt when I was rejected time and time again because Interviewers thought I had confidence problems”, I was stoked, I finally had a job. My first few days were fine, I suppose, my boss was on leave and all I did was walk through the plant and had conversation with a few people.
My first month was quite enjoyable, I especially loved staying at the guesthouse the company was paying for. Enjoyed talking to a lot of different that I would have never had a chance to speak to if I wasn’t staying there (CEO’s, MD’s and even a head writer for a local soapie), it was all gravy until the excitement started wearing off, I began to realize just how shitty the place is. I’m surprised that I didn’t go beserk, which proves that I’ve finally grown up, everybody who knew me pre-2005 knows pretty well that I didn’t take ish from anyone, ask my high school teachers (Hi Miss Mphahlele). I can’t point out what was worse, the fact that people seemed to get away with their racial micro and macro aggressions or the fact that the victims of the micro/macro-aggression let the aggressor get away with and were quite content with the fucked up racial situation at the plant(ation), I really hated seeing how people were treated differently because of the concentration of melanin in their skin but I’m not going to discuss the racial issues at the plant(ation) I’ve already been accused of being too race-conscious even though I don’t believe in the concept of race. I didn’t handle the situation well, Ive worked hard to be the level-headed person I am today but I somehow allowed certain individuals to take my power away from me, they made me angry all the time and anger is not a healthy emotion, once you get angry you give away your power. I shouldn’t have let the situation change who I am.I was miserable here, the best thing to do was to exit.
Even though I knew I had to leave, there was that thought at the back of my head telling me to give it another try, and well-intentioned people telling me to stick it out for another six months didn’t help me keep that thought in check either. I was extremely afraid of depending on other people for cash it had to take something stupid for me to realize that if I don’t leave, I’ll literally lose my marbles; It was way back in April, I think, The geniuses at the plant(ation) forgot to digitize sprinkler pipe schematics and as a result they lost them, An audit was done and it was found that the plant(ation) had a great fire risk and if they don’t install sprinklers in a few critical areas, they’ll pay higher insurance rates. The boss called me to his office, gave me the plant layouts and asked me to visually trace the pipes, draw them and submit them to him. I had to risk my life, climbing onto the reinforced ceiling section, walk around with a torch, take photos and translate those photos in a CAD drawing. As I was walking in the roof section of the cold room where all the packed product, a surge-drum caught my eye1, blood rushed to my cerebrum and I thought to my self, what if I just close the outfeed and infeed valve by just half a turn, ammonia will be restricted to the cold rooms, temperature of the product rises and product gets rejected, Imagine how much money these assholes would lose if all that product goes bad but thankfully my conscience kicked in and made me realize how other innocent people’s lives would be affected, I decided not to do it! I wouldn’t let this place tum me into a vindictive person, decided then it’s best I leave before I do something stupid. A few months down the line I found out the stuff my boss has been saying to the HR and I finally said fuck it I’m definitely leaving!
There is some good that came out of the whole experience, I know myself a little better plus I’ve developed this “I don’t give a fuck attitude” which I kinda liked, I’ve always been a weird and awkward individual, previously I felt the need to keep my eccentricities in check but nowadays I don’t care about what the next person thinks of me. Fuck them.lol. I am also blessed to have met the people I’ve met, they’ll forever be embedded in my sub-conscious.
This chapter is through, I’m leaving this Friday. New experiences and new shitty bosses await me. I’m going back to being a broke ass student again but I’m fine with it but now that I’m finally leaving the plant(ation) what am I going to bitch about? Hating the plant(ation) really brought out the best and worst of my blogging ability, I’m going to have little to say when I leave. Anyhoo, I wasn”t planning on this post being this long so I’ll stop.
Here’s to my life without the Plant(ation) *Pops champagne*