Random thoughts

  • I don’t know why I do half the things I do, yesterday I went to register a subject that I really don’t need. I already have enough credits to graduate this September but I still use delaying tactics, am I that scared of growing up and going into the workplace?
  • Speaking of things I did yesterday, I met up with people I used to attend lecturers with and most of them are either finishing up their B Tech degrees or planning on starting this semester, this got me thinking about my little failures. Honestly speaking I should be doing my B Tech right now, I should have graduated in April, I still don’t know why I’m at the point where I’m at right now. Everybody seems to a clear idea as to what direction they want to take, I don’t. 2007 the thought of being involved in hydroelectric power plants/ pump storage scheme was exciting now I couldn’t give a fuck about kaplan turbines. 2008 I was all about Steam generation, control and distribution, exactly two months ago I desperately wanted to work for ESKOM and now for some reason I’ve gotten interested in wind energy, I’m following so called “wind turbine experts” on twitter and have spend most of my time casually reading about wind energy industry in South Africa. I’m pretty certain this is just a phase and in a few months time something else will catch my attention. Bloody gremlins, when will I know what I want to do when I “grow up”?
  • Met up with an ex girlfriend this weekend, Made me realize how much our perception of someone gets filtered when we are still infatuated with them. Now that I feel nothing for her, I realize just how bitter she had gotten, I still love her though (in the most innocent kind of way) she’ll forever be known as the chick who took me off dating for two and a half years.
  • The more I read my archives and things I’ve written in my journal these past months, the more I realize how ultra-critical I am of my self. I’m not that bad, I have exxagerated all my shortcomings and neglected to congratulate my self on all my achievements. For instance, the report stating the things I’ve done and learned these past six months at was awarded a distinction by the exam department, this is remarkable considering the fact that I did little to nothing here at the plant(ation) but instead of being happy I felt guilty that I got and undeserved score, WTF is wrong with me. Anyhoo, I’m going to be less critical of myself and my abilities.
  • For some odd reason I keep getting e-mail from different right-wing Conservative blogs asking me to become a contributor for their blogs, this perplexes because 1) I’m black 2) I’m not American 3) Did I mention that I’m black.
  • I’m very optimistic about the second half of 2009, The first half was shitty, mainly because I allowed it to be. I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure I have kick ass second half of 2009. wishing everyone a great second half of 2009 in spite of the recession.
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