This is an attempt to cure my blogger’s block by typing anything that comes to my mind. Forgive me if the next few paragraphs seem to be incoherent.
- These past few weeks, I’ve come to realize just how much people can change in a year. It amazes me that almost everybody I’ve been close to has changed one way or the other, the glue that held us together has lost it’s adhesive properties. We are no longer the same. Maybe this has something to do with growing up, I don’t know but I’ve noticed a change in my own and my close friends’ personalities, we seem to be growing apart. Our conversations seem to be forced, gone are the days when we could literally spend the whole night talking about nothing, I’ve noticed awkward moments of silence when we are together. This happens to everybody close to me; From the person I’ve been friends with since pre-school to the guy I met two weeks before moving east to Springs, we have all changed. Bloemfontein has changed the guy who I’ve been friends with since we were seven, Springs has changed me, and ironically enough, Staying in Soweto has changed the people I spend my weekends with. My fear is that we’ll keep changing, growing apart until that one moment when you realized that you haven’t spoken to someone you were really close with and you can’t seem to have an idea how that happened. I really hope that doesn’t happen ’cause I value friendship.
- The last four days have seemed pointless to me, I’ve finished the thing that brought me to the plant(ation) and waking up early in the morning seem pointless. I’ve already decided that I’m leaving, I don’t see why I should wake up and go to work for absolutely no reason. A devious thought has made it’s way into my mind, you see, officially, I’m contracted to stay here ’til the 31st and we just so happen to be getting paid on the 25th. I was thinking that my masters wouldn’t mind if I didn’t pitch up after the 25th, not coming for one last week won’t change shit but people keep telling me about having a bad reference and how unprofessional that decision is, the same people who convinced me otherwise early this year when I was ready to pack my bags.
- This is my first winter away from home, I thought I wouldn’t cope without mom’s winter cuisine but I’m quite content with eating sandwiches every night.