I’m not a fan of new years resolutions, I think they are for losers. Only losers would wait for a new year do things that will improve their lives, If you see something you might need to improve, do it then and there and when it’s finished find something else to improve about yourself. I am not a looser so the following post is hypothetical. If hypothetically speaking, I was a looser what would be the lame thing I would pledge to do this year? It definitely wouldn’t be to quit drinking, all my drinks of choice are good for my health( when taken in moderation), It would be something so cliche and obvious you will think I’ve gone cheese but I feel that if I do this I would prove to myself that I’ve got the will power to do anything.
My fellow Internet surfers, the one thing I would want to do this year is to loose weight( I told you it was cliche). By the end of June this year, I want to get back to the shape I was in before adolescence, trans fat swallowing, couch potatoing and beer drinking made the fat person inside come out. I’ve been chubby ever since ’99 but these past six months I’ve gained a lot of weight and as a result, I am no longer chubby but plain old fat. Sucking in my tummy doesn’t seem to be able to make my fat midsection go away, all my jeans have been transformed to skinnies and my fat black ass has become even fatter. I’m very comfortable in my own
fat skin, just ask the numerous people who were fortunate enough to see me streaking, I’m not self conscious about my body but I would love to walk a flight of stair without breathing violently, I’m doing this for me. I hope I don’t become like other losers and not keep my “New years resolution”. Wish me luck.
Note: the above image is of my tummy two months ago, the evil thing has grown even bigger.