I tried giving it a chance but I can’t take it anymore, I hate it here. I’m really a nice person, I have an amazing spirit but being here changes me, my spirit is slowly being chipped away and I don’t think this place is worth my losing the things I value the most: my spirit. I don’t know how much longer I can pretend that I’m enjoying my experience, I’m sick of not wanting to get out of bed in the mornings, sick of feeling like a zombie the whole day wishing the day would end, sick of constantly looking at the watch hoping that it’s finally 16h30 so I can leave that crap hole. I mean life is a gift to be enjoyed so if I spend 9.5 hours of my day not enjoying what I’m doing what’s the point of it all?
People that care about me are worried that I’m going crazy because I can’t seem to control my anger these days, I used to be a person who would rarely get angry now I’m shouting at everyone at a drop of a hat. I don’t want to be like that, I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I know my contract ends next year August but I don’t think I can bear another year here. I want out, I’m going to be trying to find another training position elsewhere. It’s going to be hard ’cause it took me six months to find this one. I’m hoping that I would have more luck this time around.