I wanna start afresh


I wanna move to another city, see new things. I’m about to turn 21 soon and I’ve just realized that in the 20+ years of my life, I have only been out of Johannesburg once. I love Johannesburg, I love living here, but I wanna see how it feels to live somewhere else. I wanna know how it feels to live in another city, where you don’t know anyone. I wanna start afresh, people that know me don’t really believe that I’ve changed and it’s frustrating. Yesterday I bumped into my high-school English teacher, she asked me if I’m studying further, when I said yes, she acted all surprised and remarked said that miracles do happen. I wanted to tell her off, but I was raised to never talk back to my elders, so I didn’t reply her. I guess I somehow deserved that, I used to be an ass at high-school but I was just an angry teen. Half the things I did back then were things a normal teens do. That’s why I wanna leave here so much I wanna go where nobody knows me, I’ve burned many bridges, Half the people I was friends with hate me now. The ones I used to friends before I started my hooliganism are mad that I almost threw my life away doing stupid things, The ones I used to be friends with during my days of drunkenness are mad that I’ve become a boring “good guy”. The ones I’ve became friends with after I cleaned up my act are mad that I don’t hang-out with them as much as I used now that I’m at University. There is just too much baggage.

I wanna leave, go to Cape-Town and experience the cool breeze of the Benguela current, maybe go to Sandy beach once in a while, or maybe go to Durban and hang-out with the Indians there. Swim in the warm Indian ocean, go to Australia maybe and see first hand how the Aborigines have been driven to poverty and alcoholism by the oppressive past of the Aussies. Maybe I might go to Mpumalanga or any place other than Jo’burg. But chances are I won’t, there’s a saying that once you’ve lived in Jo’burg you won’t wanna leave. I have been used to the hustle and bustle of the city of gold that I won’t know how to deal with the slow pace of Cape-Town, the humidity of Durban, the “cornyness” of the Aussies. I’ve had it easy for the past 20 years and I’m scared to step out my comfort zone and be on my own.

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