Why AQUILOGY will never do sport

I’m trying to start exercising, I have gained a lot of weight these past three years and since winter is around the corner I’m gonna have have to work hard so that, come Spring I look good without my shirt on. I started jogging two weeks back but I wasn’t good at it, couldn’t run half a block without stopping to catch a breath and so I stopped. I’m thinking of taking up a sport, but I was never really into sport activity for the following reasons:

1.Communal showers: Using showers that everybody uses is not cool, there are too many gems on the shower base and I don’t have the money to buy anti-fungal cream to prevent Athlete’s foot and you can never really be too sure which way the guy standing next to rolls.

2.Compromising positions: I really don’t have to say much about this picture, just look at the facial expresion of the white guy, he seems to be really enjoying having a fat dude on top of him

3.Sports injuries: I was always intolerant to pain

4.I don’t have flexible joints.